YOUGHAL, IRELAND – One of the beautiful features of capitalism is that no matter how much money you have… or how you got it… there are always people willing and able to relieve you of it.
An undiscovered need. An unmet desire. An opportunity to make even more money!
There is no limit on how chic you can be. Or how much money you can have. After all, you can’t be too rich or too cool.
What, you already own a Jackson Pollock splatter painting? Then you need an NFT.
Your house already has an indoor pool and a 16-seat home theatre? You need a bowling alley.
Have you been to Mars lately? Elon Musk says he’ll take you there!
Yes, people who worry about robots taking our jobs are wasting their time. As long as fools are ready to part company with their money, people – flesh-and-blood innovators – will find ways to help them.
And now, with so much new money flowing into so many greasy mitts, the hustlers are working overtime.
In this week’s headlines is a disturbing story. All this new money, you see, is not a universal godsend.
Most people are delighted to get it, of course – money they neither earned, needed, nor deserved.
But today, our sympathies go out to the poor schleps who work day and night to take it away from them.
Comes word from Wall Street that young investment bankers, SPACers, mergers & acquisitions mavens, brokers, penny stockers – the whole confrérie of the sell side – toil 100-hour weeks trying to keep up with the flood of EZ money.
Here’s a recent headline from Bloomberg:
Young Bankers Have an Absurd Work Life
The young analysts are already working around the clock trying to keep up with the incoming cash. Deals, deals, deals – and each one is worth millions of dollars to Wall Street.
Surely, that kind of money is worth a few sleepless nights?
Yes, the busy beavers deep in the Goldman Sachs machine routinely work until 3 a.m… only to start again the next day at 9 a.m. They suffer “sleep deprivation,” they claim, as well as “mental and physical stress.”
“My body physically hurts all the time and mentally I’m in a really dark place,” said one.
We know these things because the group of burn-out victims somehow found the time to put together a handy presentation – much like the “decks” they use to separate clients from their “stimmy” money – to complain about it.
Of course, if they were really upset, they might just cut the golden handcuffs that keep them in Goldman Sachs’ employ, and find an easier schedule as an Uber driver. So our sympathy for them is not unmitigated.
But at least their proposed solution seems completely reasonable – an 80-hour workweek limit.
But wait… They’ll be leaving money on the table.
In those “lost” 20 hours a week, they could put together another “deck”… with a PowerPoint presentation showing how investing in a new SPAC would be sure to pay off.
That deal, too, could be worth tens of millions of dollars to Goldman Sachs. No one will want to give it up.
And if these whiny millennials can’t hack it… well, there are others who can.
After all, thanks to the feds, trillions of dollars’ worth of new bids are coming into the marketplace. Money is being created… and changing hands… at the fastest rate in our lifetimes.
And today, Goldman Sachs, Robinhood, Chinese gee-gaw manufacturers, vaccine suppliers, liquor companies, SPACs, auction houses, property in Zoom towns – dream mongers all over the world struggle to keep up with the demand.
More Money on the Way
And for the overworked water carriers of Wall Street, it’s likely to get worse before it gets better.
Yes, more money is on the way! In the headline news yesterday morning was this item from Bloomberg:
Biden Team Weighs Next Economic Plan of Up to $3 Trillion
Infrastructure and climate change have long been described as key efforts in the pending program…
Whoopee! This comes right on the heels of the last huge boondoggle – $1.9 trillion, now working its way through the economy, like termites through a 2×4.
And this is after the Federal Reserve multiplied its balance sheet (a measure of the U.S. monetary base) by 10 times so far this century… and doubled it in just the last 18 months.
Think what a boom all this stimulus will cause. Soon, we’ll all be rich, of course.
What bewilders us is why people didn’t think of this sooner. Isaac Newton… really… why bother with the Laws of Motion, when you can just print money?
And Albert Einstein… Why was he wasting his time on “relativity”?
Thomas Edison? What’s a light bulb compared to trillions in new printing-press wealth?
It’s so simple: You just print up money and spend it, give it to your friends… and let crooks steal it.
How come it took the human race nearly 600 years after the invention of the printing press to come up with such a bold and wonderful use for it?
We don’t know… So we’ll have to leave that question undisturbed… like a sleeping skunk…
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